What is wrong with the world?

Well, I just had a giant pork chop and enough beer to think I can solve all the world's problems with my blog. What better time to write a blog about, "What is wrong with the world."

Now don't get my wrong in no way shape or form do I think I can solve all the world's problems. Come on, Gandhi and Jesus Christ couldn't even solve all the evils of this world. But, I think I have a very important insight on the direction this world is going and why we are all fucking it up. It came to me last night while I was sitting in the Tavern 74 getting drunk off my gourd watching breathtaking ladies (that I'm so lucky to call my friends) dance all around me. And let me give you a little hint it isn't global warming, America's slide toward socialism, feminists, Muslims, Jehovah Witnesses, nor the Dutch.

As I sat there in the bar in my ever growing drunken bliss. A song came on. A song that changed my life and helped me discover what is wrong with the world.
What song was this? Well none other than Fergilicious. For those of you not privy to the song or the lovely lady that sings it. Fergilicious is a song by a lady who calls herself Fergie. Whether this is her real name or some pseudonym she goes by to sell a few more records I am not sure. But, Fergie is a singer. (I guess you can call her a singer.) Whose only talent that I can gather is that she has a body that puts most 18 year old high school cheerleaders to shame. As this bar shows music videos of whatever song is on tvs around the bar. I caught myself entranced in this video even going as far as to temporary forget I was currently surrounded by drunk, gorgeous girls who are far more accessible than Fergie will ever be.

This is when I discovered what is wrong with the world. Ok maybe not all that is wrong with the world but, I think a big part of it. (So, have I created a sufficient enough suspense yet, are you dying to find out? Cause I sure can draw this out a little longer.) So what is this insight I had that could possibly cure a majority of the problems of the world. Simply this. The advent of spelling in pop songs that is shilled out by major record labels as art an form. You know what I am talking about. D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S. After all, it all is SOOO Fergilicious. My God. I about scratched out my eyeballs then and there and swore to myself I'd never look at any girl that ever spelt out anything to get me to buy her record. I am a smaller man for honestly watching that crap for longer than 5 seconds.

Yes, this is the problem with the world. Being taught spelling by hot barely clothed untalented whores that make more money with one record than I wll make in my entire career. Maybe it is a symptom. But, who am I to judge. Anyways. I have no control over this. We are too far gone as a society to try and stop this insidious actions. I sit here tonight offering a glimmer of hope though. Are only hope is in fact or greatest enemy. Corporate America. If corporations get hold of this snappy marketing trick. They might, just might overuse it. Over inundate America, if you will, this spelling to hip-hop phenomenon. And America will get tired of it. Which will force them to again change tactics. In order to persuade us average people to spend all our hard earned money on some other crap. Can I offer a suggestion? Math baby. I can hear it now. 2 to the 2 plus 3 it equals 7. (That’s 2+2+3=7) Yeah it isn't as straight-forward can get a little confusing. And math is ten times harder than spelling when you’re shit-faced and trying to dance. But, hey it just might work. We can hope America, we can hope. After all, "that shits bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."