Well, I tried to write a couple serious hard hitting blogs the last couple of days. They all sounded like crap so I never posted them. Oh well. But, I decided I really, really want to lighten the mood up just a little. Seeing as today I gave in to complete unproductivityl I finally got around to discovering the best of Craig's List. Which apparently is a collection of clever anctedotes anonmously written about masturbating coworkers, crazy people on the bus, and other random acts better left unmentioned. Apparently I am also the only person on the planet who hadn't heard of Craig's list best of. Who'd of thunk. Anyways. In spirit of this affectious wittiness I give you my day, Craig's list style.
First of all to the lovely girl who decided the best time to text message me is 12:30am. I am an old fart. I wake up early 5:30 it is a rare occurance I am not fast asleep before 11:00 on a weeknight. I know. I am a little girl. But, damnit I need my beauty rest. If I don't get at 6 or 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I become very unproductive and irratable. I want to stop just in case this girl reads my blog. I really, really enjoy get unprovoked text messages from cute brunettes. I do. It is nice to know that someattractive member of the opposite sex is thinking enough of you to send you a random note. I appreciate it. Honestly, I'm not mad at you. But, if you could conveniatly be thinking of me at around 10:00 or earlier that would be best. And if you do send me message past this time you better believe I'll be sending you one at 7:00 when I am finally consious enough to begin my day and when I'm sure you will still be in bed. But, thanks for the message I appreciate it and I'll keep your name anonymous for your own safety.
Hmmm, I was about to engage in conversation about the guy in the office that always has gas in the morning. But, i'll leave it alone who knows who reads this stuff.
But, more about my day. I began my day with my usual routine. (yeah this is probably going to be long deal with it you've read this far already.) Opening all the essential programs on my computer. I like to check up on all the random email, myspace, facebook, and blog traffic in my life. From there I like to check the news. Apparently the most important thing in the world is that 50% of the US adults would not vote for Hillary. Apparently it was not news that 50% would, which frankly is more frightening info than former. Well we can go from there.
I then came to the monumentous conclusion I was just not going to be productive today. Largely because well my sleep was interupted so I was tired and grumpy and two my job is boring. Now I begin the my job is boring rant. First step. I got to do some work cause well I need a raise cause they don't pay me enough so I got to at least attempt to some work. I begin with the least intellectually obtrusive of my mindless chores. Finish that with little effort. So far so good. Now it is time for cost transfers. For those who have no idea what a cost transfer is. I envy you. I believe it something very similar to a TPS report. (For those of you who have seen office space.)
Here is my current dilemma. Something that should be complety finished and irradicated from my desk is now stuck on that same desk for at least a week cause in some moment of ignorance or carelessness I typed an 0 instead of an 8. What should have taken a couple cost transfer and finished now is requiring 4 or more cost transfers to reverse charges and then recharge charges. Which apparently have to be done manually thus taking weeks to go through the 4 or 5 other hand neccessary to make sure I don't type another damn 0 were a 8 would have been largely more conveniant. Seeing as cost transfer by defenition attract the prying eye of auditors (don't worry I am not going to explain what that means it is all meaningless) it makes this all a very meticolous process which I apparently am not at all qualified to handle. As you can see by the grammatic atrociousness of this blog an eye for detail is not my forte. I am big idea guy not make sure it is a 8 not a 0 guy. Ahh... the life of an accountant. Well it sure beats waiting tables.
Well about this time I gave up with the 8 and discovered Craig's List and my new inspiration. This conveniantly wasted enough time till lunch. Were I had the same damn soup leftovers I've had the last 5 days. (my car broke down, i had to buy a new one, so i'm broke) That was delicious. At least I'm a good cook. Then I went for a walk to get out of the claustraphobic closet that is my cubicle. To enter the yellow wonder land that is downtown Atlanta. I love running noses and itchy eyes.
Well I finally was able to suffer through the last 2 monontonous hours of the day with the help of Craig and the bare requirements of my position. Then Atlanta traffic. You know what I'm not even going to touch that it is just too damn easy. Use your own imagination on how that was.
Then there was those indian guys in the weight room lifting weights in polos and khaki shorts with the form of a hippopotomus on acid. Yeah I'm gonna leave that one alone too.
Well that was my day. Boring and uneventful. So in conclusion. Please don't text me early in the morning. I'm asleep. And it makes the rest of my day really ,really unproductive. But, thanks for the text it was sweet.
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