Well I was driving home from work the other day thinking to myself. "Michael it has been awhile since you have learned a nice little life lesson." And on cue, proving that God is a sadist or at least a sadistic sense of humor, my drive shaft fell out on the middle of I-85. After some deft maneuvering, after coming to the realization those big concert barriers on the shoulder weren't going to let me stop there. I found myself on the fast lane shoulder with my drive shaft lying limp and lifeless from my transmission. Oh Joy! Of course. I decided a nice laugh was in order. After getting that out of my system I then made the regretable decision of turning down a ride from a gorgeous young lady in a nice new mazda. Seeing as I was close to home and my brother could pick me up. And you ladies wonder why I am single. It probably has to do with turning down terrific opportunities such as those.
Anyways, you can imagine I've had a long week. The Nova is in pretty rough shape currently. I have to find a piece that I have no idea if they still make and hope I didn't fuck up the connection to where my drive shaft connects to my rear end overly bad. It isn't all looking to promising.
So yeah. The point of this whole tragic affair is to discuss this life lesson that is currently be learned. It is one of failure to act, be proactive, failure to make a decision, and not knowing what I want. It is simple as that. The Nova was going to fall apart. I've made this clear to everyone and instead of making the decision to finance and a buy a car I am now stuck falling through with this without a whole lot of flexiblity in schedule.
This probably isn't the best example but, it definetly made a big impression on me. It isn't the Nova's fault or anyone or anythings fault. It is mine the decisions I've made have not made lead directly to this day. I think this has been my biggest problem and it definatly has been a theme here in the Ruminations. Lack of direction and the fear of failure, which has lead to nothing but, procrastination and indecision.
But, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've made a lot of progress on starting to set some definate goals and desires in my life. A life's purpose if you will. Not just working for today so I can pay bills. An actual reason. With consequences, touch decisions, and even sacrifices. Hopefully, I'll be able to get this purpose nailed down here soon and start setting goals as well. This is the first step in creating something in my life. Stop, letting life control my destiny. And start grabbing fate by the balls and telling it what I want out of it. Sounds like fun huh. Anyways, once I get this formalized a little more I imagine I'll sketch a little outline for you here.
But, in the meantime. I get to get this car situation resolved. I recieved a loan and plan on going car shopping tommorow. I feel like I am studying for a big test. I nervous as all get out seeing as I've had the same car all my life, except when she was broken, and well I didn't buy her then. So yeah tommorow I will attempt to buy my first car. I'm going to take a look at a sweet little Corrola tommorow. Hopefully she turns out to be a beaut and I can make this problem as quick and painless as possible. I let you know tommorow how it goes.
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