Advice given freely is rarely taken.

So I have this horrible affliction. Ever time I feel I need to be writing I either have nothing to write about or I have too many things to talk aboutin a single blog. Then when I have something specific to talk about I don't feel like writing.

Today I have the first issue. My mind is awash with so many things. I know there is no possible way for me to form a cohesive blog. Yet, for some horrible, misguided reason I feel like writing. I hate these feelings too; cause the odds are I'll talk about something I'd rather not talk about. I'll then have to sit around and wonder how it will be accepted. I wish I could just be witty and nonsensical. Just gosh durn cute. So I wouldn't have to worry about it. I can't. My mind builds up too much stuff and I just got to let it loose on my poor unsuspecting audience.

I have no topic but many thoughts. I am not sure where to begin or what is most important. So I'll start at the beginning. I got promoted last week. I wrote blog about it and abruptly deleted it. It didn't say what I honestly felt. And I'll be damned if the honesty bug hasn't bit my ass. (So maybe I should stop swearing so much on my blogs? -- just a random thought.)

So it is nice and all to have an extra roman numeral in your title and a couple more bucks in your bank account. But, in the end it is just that. Money and a semblance of prestige. (albeit minute) So I'm drawn back to the topics that have plagued me about purpose and meaning and what this is all about. Which brings me back to religion and not believing in the Jesus Christ as the Savior thing. Nothing would please me more to believe whole-heartedly this sentiment without doubt or speculation. It is beyond me currently though.

I guess the point is, there comes a time when you realize. Money, prestige, good work, or anything else isn't enough. You go through life wondering what will happen next usually fixating on why you never have enough of whatever it is you think you need. When do you have enough? When do you just lay it all down and surrender? Regardless of whatever faith or beliefs that you subscribe to. There comes a time in everyone's life where that next promotion, that higher degree, that new car, or whatever just isn't enough. That is when you begin to realize that it's time. To let it all go. All that shit that has weighed on your shoulders, your burdens, your troubles all that unnecessary -- necessities of life. You lay it down. Then and only then when that load is gone will you have enough courage and strength to find and carry what is most important.

It make sense right? If only I could take my own advice.