Finding Home

Sunday. Sunday always seems to be a day of heavy contemplation for me. Probably because I am usually nursing a hangover from the previous evening and I don't feel like doing anything else. So I got some thing really big I am contemplating and I figured I come to you my loyal readers to see if any of ya'll got an great insight for me.

So as I usually do I need to set this up for you before I get into to exactly the sage wisdom I am looking to receive from ya'll. My lease ends here at the end of July and my brother, cousin, and I are looking to rent a house and get out of the apartment living. I don't mind apartment living but, see the perks of living in a house so I am pretty down with the whole idea. Today, my brother and I went to go look at a house we found online for rent. It is in the heart of Peachtree City. For those of you privy of the dynamic of Peachtree City let me paint a quick picture. I'd say it is the epitomy of your classic uppermiddle class, white dominated, yuppie, suburban hell. They have seperate path for golf carts for Christ sake and the cops have nothing better to do then pull people over inane reasons. I don't have a lot of love for the place. Not that it is a bad place I just don't really care for the place all that much. Honestly, I don't have that much love for where I live now, Newnan. Which is close to Peachtree City.

That said I've been having random thoughts of doing something crazy like moving to the other side of the country. My parents live in Eugene, Oregon so I could move out there with a relative amount of ease. I also worked in the San Francisco bay area for about 3 months and absolutely loved the place. Beautiful and eccentric. It is just a real cool place.

I guess I've come to the conclusions that I don't know what the hell I am doing or why the Hell I am living where I am living. I am not too found of the area I live currently. Atlanta is an okay city I don't mind it but, I don't really have any compelling reasons to live and work in the area. I don't have that many close friends here anymore. The only reason really I live here is cause I got a job that I like in as much as I don't really dislike it. (It is a good job, don't get me wrong.) But, there are jobs everywhere.

Looking at it critically I can't come up with any really good viable reason for why I live here. I moved from Athens to Atlanta a couple years ago and looking back at the decision I think I made it because that is what you do when you graduate. You get your diploma move back to the big city, find a good job, find a wife, settle down, have kids etc. I think I've made it clear that I have found this trite little formula a little lacking. Not that there is anything wrong with it or not that I don't want any of these things I do. But, I am not sure why. But, Atlanta is the place I grew up so I guess I just moved back more out of habit. Yet, my parents don't live here anymore and I'll be honest it just doesn't really feel like home anymore.

So today driving home after taking a look at this house I was suddenly filled with a sense of dread of having to sign another 1 year lease and being stuck for another year in this place. I'm not sure why I felt it but, I did. It was unmistakeable. I guess I'm just not satisfied with my life to a certain level and the idea of packing of stake and jet setting out of town has a sense of appeal in that it feels like I would actually being actively trying to do something to change that.

The dilemma is that I don't necessarily like Eugene, Oregon that much it is nice but, I don't really have any desire to live there other than be close to my parents. California is awsome. But, damn expensive making it a little more problematic and there is an aspect to the culture out their I don't find totally appealing. Also, these are all places I can't decide in 2 months to pack up and make happen. I could. I just think making that kind of decision should involve a little more planning and soul-searching.

Today, an alternative came to mind though. One that could be pulled off with limited finanical and logistical complexities. The alternative. Move back to Athens. I honestly love Athens. It is a great little city quirky and cool. It is full of amazingly beautiful girls, it has a great local music scene, it has the greatest University in the entire world, and I'm pretty sure they got jobs there too. It would be cheaper I wouldn't have a 2 hour round trip commute to work everyday and I always thought the girl I fell in love with and finally settle down with would be a girl from Athens. I still have some friends up there. Not some of my closeset friends that I meet there. But, Athens is a great place to meet people so I think i'd be fine in that department. I know at towards the end of my tenure at the place I did grow a little disillusioned with it. I think that is only because I had become ingrained in the habit of going downtown everyweekend in attempts of trolling for "ass" and I didn't know what the hell I was doing with my life after I graduated and I was working a shitty job. I am not saying Athens has all the answers I am looking for. I don't think that will be found in just a place. But, I can think of a lot more compelling reasons off the top of my head to live there than here.

So now for your part in this blog. Please leave any sage advice you may have on my current dilemma because, I got to to make a decision by the end of the week cause if I make it happen I am going to throw a hugh monkey wrench in my brother's and cousin's plans and as I said the lease is up in July. The clock is ticking. And I guess I'm just tired of staring at the clock.