I Hate Moving!!!!

Attention Ladies and Gentlemen! The numbers have been crunched, the tallies have been counted, all the vertices have been elongated. (no i have no idea what that means). It is official I HATE MOVING!!!!!!!!! I'd rather somebody violate me with a combination taser, fishing pole, parking cone and handcuffs (use your imagination) then move.

I have spent the last two hours at work overcaffinating myself, procrastinating, and setting up a detailed spreadsheet analysis of how much moving I have done in my life. As a quick overview. The last 8 years of my life I have never lived in the same place for longer than a year and have moved 15 times in that span. Including a brief 3 month cross country excursion in a well-travelled Nova. Which consequently isn't travelling to well anymore. Adding just the briefest glimmer of headache to my current moving aspirations.

On top of all this moving my parents never owned a home till I was 17 and about to move out anyways. This probably averaged out to a move once every 2 or 3 years not including that one summer where we didn't have a place to live and instead our family took up a second career as professional house-sitter for vacationing families. I think there was at least 2 or 3 moves that summer. Nor does this calculation included the summer we spent in Oregon as our family contemplated reversing the move that brought us to the good ol HOTlanta in the first place. (God saying hotlanta makes me want to be violated again with the same previously mentioned combo with whips added in just for stress relief)

I bring this up for a few reason. Number one is simply just to bitch. It feels good thanks for listening. Number two well I feel like a monkey sitting in a cage forced to do paperwork, while simultaneously being forced to free base crack cocaine, all while the rest of the monkeys get to lay around on their beds and watch poor violated monkey who's only saving grace is that he is not a pit bull and has no association to Michael Vick (obligatory Michael Vick joke -- I apologize for poor delivery). Number three and most important of all though is if for whatever reason you feel like stopping by Saturday too see the new place bring BEER and LOTS OF IT!!!!!


*EDIT*
This blog doesn't even contain any ranting on the summer I spent as a "Professional" mover. There aren't enough poorly worded metaphors to explain the living hell that summer was.